I try to be a happy person. I can fake it till I make it when I am feeling down but most of the time I am quicker to smile than frown I think. I have run the range from gleeful and slightly manic to horrifically depressed and lower than the lowest ooze on the ocean floor. I have been every shade of sad, most shades of happy and every emotional color you can find in between.
Ever since getting pregnant though, I have found a new emotional place. I call it "The Weepies".
I always had a soft spot in my heart for kids and puppies and cute fuzzy things but until I had my own child I never knew that fierce drive to protect him, to protect someone other than myself. To nurture him and encourage him but to always be there to keep him safe and sometimes I look at him and realize that I love him SO MUCH more than I ever imagined love could be that it makes me tear up a little. This is one side of this new emotional thing, the flip side of it is that when I read a news story involving kids I get sad when bad things happen, have this surge of rage against the people who would hurt their babies and end up sitting here feeling... well... weepy. Sometimes angry at the bad guys... and sometimes it makes me feel like it is time to go change the world.
You all know the kinds of stories I am talking about, so I won't link to them or say them because I don't want to give YOU all a case of the weepies.
Liam has changed my life in more ways than just the normal baby ways that everyone thinks of, he not only brings me the joy and love that a child can bring but he also brought me a new way to look at the goings on in this world. I hope that he and I never have to be part of a story that will give other people the weepies, unless it is the good kind, like... "Mom and Son raise billions of dollars to end world hunger and cure cancer and bring every child their dream toy"
Awwww, I'm getting all weepy thinking about how much that would make some one smile. I guess this is the feeling that people get when they decide it's time to change the world. I wonder what Liam and I can do to start....
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What you do is be the best person you can be, and teach Liam the same. I understand the "weepies" completely - it is the mothering instinct. You will have it the rest of your life. The overwhelming love for a child is a primal force. It extends to other younglings, too. Three years ago two starving kittens appeared on our doorstep. I knew the best thing was to find homes for them. I COULD NOT. I had to take them in, to nurture them.
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