Tuesday, July 31, 2012

A second chance

So I read this, and then I read this.

Apparently the mayor of NYC wants to basically ban formula from the maternity ward in hospitals there and anyone who wants to use it has to sign it out like it is a restricted medication.

Ok, so yea, breastfeeding is awesome and great, but its not for everyone and people deserve to make their own choices without being scolded for them. Moms use to be scolded for WANTING to breastfeed their babies. Now moms get scolded for everything. Using a crib bumper. Not carrying your baby in a carrier instead of a stroller. Not making your own baby food from organic fruits and veggies bought from your local farmers market.

I am kind of torn on this whole breastfeeding thing. I tried with Liam, it didn't work. I won't go into the gory details again, but in short it ended with me in a ball crying my heart out because I failed him as a mother the day I decided to switch to formula. The writer of the article in my second link says a lot of how I felt when Liam threw his booby boycott and refused to nurse. Her situation was different, but the feelings are the same.

Since then, I have gotten over that guilt. He is just as well adjusted, smart and has been LESS sick than most breastfed babies I know. He is FINE. I didn't fail. I made the choice to feed him and NOT wear myself to a shade trying to pump after he had a bottle and live on 45 minutes of sleep between two hour awake sessions trying to get him to nurse, giving up, giving him a bottle and then getting him to sleep before filling up the next bottle, trying to fall asleep myself and then in a few moments waking up to do it all over again.

But now, here comes Evie. It is a chance to try again. And you can bet that I plan on trying again. If it works, awesome... if it doesn't work, well, that is that. I am not going to wear myself to a thread trying to nurse her. I am going to give it an honest go and that needs to be enough.

And as far as hospitals and formula... well, I wasn't offered ANY formula at Providence Portland. No samples, no nurses suggesting it, nothing. But I bet if I asked for it I wouldn't have been treated like a drug addict seeking a shot of Demerol. In truth, if you want to formula feed from day 1, then bring formula when you go to the hospital to have your baby. If you go to a hospital and people are pushing it on you, either accept it with good graces and say thank you and tuck it into your bag to be given away to someone else, or just ask them to stop and say that you have made your choice and would like for them to respect it.

No one should be belittled or scolded for their choices in how to feed their baby. Even the La Leche League has their first rule as something like "The baby needs to be fed".

Either way, I wish the dirty looks and Mommy Wars would just stop. You are looked down upon if you whip out a bottle when your baby cries, people look at you weird when you whip out a boob when your baby cries, no matter how discreet you are. Babies need to eat, and people need to stop giving moms shit about how they feed their babies.

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