Friday, March 5, 2010

Yesterday we put together his changing table/dresser and Dan decided to put together the glider chair as well.

It is starting to look more like a baby's room now!

But today, not so happy...

Today, I managed to get into an accident on my way home from work. I tried to stop and it was like my brakes just didn't want to work right. Lucky that no one was hurt. All seems to be ok, but my car is a little ouchy. I am waiting on a call back from the insurance people to get it looked at and see what we can do about repairs. I can't drive it the way it is right now, so I had to call into work and tell them to have someone else cover my days at Cedar Hills until I can drive it again. The hood got bent up, and is partially blocking my view. I'm scared, I can't stop crying, but that is what insurance is FOR, so I am even happier that I JUST renewed my policy and switched it to Oregon. Hopefully Progressive is good with handling claims. I even submitted pics to a local well known and good repair place with a lifetime guarantee of their work... I will probably hear back from them tomorrow about their estimate.

I don't even know what exactly happened. Either she stopped too fast, or I didn't stop fast enough. She is fine, I am ok, her car looks perfect, like nothing happened to it. My hood is crunchy and my headlight is broken. I can't stop shaking and crying. I checked my blood sugar when I got home and its super high right now. I wonder if the diabetes was messing with me? I don't know. I know if its too high I get dizzy. Maybe thats what happened.

Maybe I shouldn't drive anymore until after the baby gets here. But I have to work... I don't even know how I am supposed to pay for any extra cost that comes up. I am just so scared right now. I hope the accident wasn't caused by some reaction to high blood sugar. But I also hope it wasn't caused by my brakes being messed up because right now I don't know which one would be worse.

I just want the insurance guy to call so I can get that over with and then go cry in a corner for a while. I'm just glad no one was hurt. But damnit, I am shaking like a leaf right now.

I want to be a little girl again and cry and go get my mommy to make it all better. But I'm the mommy now, I have to deal with this all and figure out what went wrong and make sure it doesn't happen again. I have to be grown up about this and not break down, even though it scares me to think that something might have been wrong with me to cause this. I know I had a headache and felt kinda cruddy, like I do when I go too long without eating. Maybe my sugar was low, and then it went up with the panic. Panic can do that. Or maybe it was too high. I don't know.

I just know that I want this to never have happened. But I can't fix that.

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