Honesty, Honestly

I went to see my cousin-in-law and her four lovely girls today.

The girls were just beautiful, happy and sweet and kind.

Nicole seemed genuinely happy to see me and Liam. It made me feel warm inside. Happy to be out of the house and in a place where no one looked at me like I was a bad mommy when Liam decided to pitch a fit.

But oooh, how I wish I was as lovely as her. Her style of dressing, her beautiful home... I only hope that the home I make with Dan will feel like that and that maybe someday I can get my own style back.

Living in pajamas most of the time, not even feeling like getting dressed... yuck!

Now I doubt I could pull of those pretty dresses like Nicole can.... but I once wore nice clothes. Jeans that fit me well, pretty skirts, tops that didn't have rock bands or comic book characters on them. I like my Ranma shirt, but I want to wear things like... that sweater I adore. Only it seems silly to put on nice things when there is baby spit up, drool, the occasional changing time wee-fountain.

Plus, some of those clothes don't fit me now and might never fit again.

I just want to look less like a Wal-Mart reject.

Oh, and I really want to dye my hair again!!!!

At least i looked ok today...