Sunday, October 4, 2009

and so it begins

wow. just, wow.

On October 1st, 2009 I found out I was going to have a baby. I had had some suspicions for a couple days before, and took a pregnancy test at home. It came up positive and with that looming in my mind, I headed off for work. I thought about that little line on the test on my way into work and for the few hours I was there. I decided that even though through my job I am technically able to read a pregnancy test and confirm a result, I really wanted someone else to confirm mine.

I headed back toward home and called Bev on my way and told her what was going on. After the initial shock she was amazingly supportive and sweet. I got there half an hour early and spent 30 long minutes sitting in the parking lot of the Pregnancy Resource Center.

The people there were fantastic and kind and so sweet and just wonderful. They got a new test for me right away and I spent a while talking to a wonderful lady there. After a while she went to go read the test and came back into the room carrying a basket of homemade baby booties, "Would you like to pick out a pair?" she asked.

"Is that a yes?"

Her smile and "yes, it's a yes" were an amazing thing to see and hear. I laughed, I cried, I cried some more in joy and fear and just confusion. Then I panicked. How was I going to tell Dan, my boyfriend? I mean, I didn't get into this ALONE!!!


A few hours later, some thinking later... deciding that coming home and asking "so sweetie, do you prefer Dad, Daddy, or Papa?" was NOT going to be the best approach I arrived home to see my sweetie playing on the computer.

I made sure he was in a good mood, then dragged him over to the bed to snuggle up with me for a moment. Sounding way more sure than I really was I simply said "I need to tell you something and I hope you don't run screaming into the streets when I say it... *deep breath* I'm pregnant."

He froze, I started to tear up, he resumed mobility and rubbed my back while we sat there in stunned silence. I don't remember much of what happened next other than the promises to be there for me, to not leave me to deal with this alone, to support me always and take care of me.

I had to go out of the house for a bit then to pick up my check from work, and he sat at home and thought. I came home, we went to the store, we came home, he decided he needed to get out for a bit to think. I decided to call my mother.

After talking to my mom and feeling much better about things my sweetie came home.

Amidst a flood of tears and sweet words, hand holding and much outpouring of love, along with an assurance that he was thinking this way even before the baby thing happened, he proposed to me.

So not only am I going to be a mom, but I'm going to get married too.

And Honestly, I couldn't be happier.

So I am going to keep this blog updated with all the stuff I'm going through, learning, and living as I head forward on my journey toward being a wife and a mother. Each one of those would have been enough on it's own, but both at once is... wow. Just WOW!

And as for the title of the blog, well, right now my baby is about the size and shape of a lima bean, so it's my little lima bean. I know soon enough it will be bigger, but I think part of me will always think of it as the little lima bean that started this all.

Just starting on week 6, 34 more weeks to go!

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